breathless

I've just done taking a shower. it's odd you know for me took a shower at night. I hate it because I can't stand the cold water. I have no idea why but out of the blue I decided to take a shower. and when I was dealing with water pouring down my head, suddenly I find myself hard to breathe. I felt breathless in the midst of the shower. I felt like I had just run out miles away. kinda strange, right?

have you ever feel like the weight of the world is resting on your shoulders and there is nothing you can do to get out from under it? I have. not just once, but often. just so you know I am a little bit perfectionist.  so I always try so hard to make everything right on the target. and when I find something that isn't come out as excepted, I would be so devastated and disappointed. and I take it seriously. when something is not right I always think myself as a failure. and I would be really really upset and feel as if the world is collapsing instantaneous. too much, huh? that's what I do. so as a solution I would not take on anything that I don't feel that I will be good at. but I can't escape forever from anything that I can't do perfectly. so yeah it's hard

as perfectionist, I always feel like the weight of the world is resting on my shoulder. and I try my best not to make others disappointed. kinda torturing you know? and honestly I'm tired of being one of them. so now I try to take it slow and act normal. because I realize I didn't have to make everything difficult and consider it as a burden or weight. if there's an easier and smoother way to pass why bother pass through the steep and rocky way?  from now on I will try to remind myself to keep things slowly and just let it flow

courtesy of shijun

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.

- Lao-Tzu